The Working Coach's Wife
I am teaming up with a fellow coach's fiancee to put together this blog post!
This is the second time Trimiesha has co-written a blog with me
and I'm grateful for our virtual friendship and partnership!
She is a 1st grade teacher in the great state of Texas, and her
husband is the D-line coach at SMU in Dallas.
In this post she shares her heart along with the struggles of working
a job and having the second job of being a coach's wife.
If I could use a phrase that describes our lives it would have to be never-ending chaos, or "organized chaos" as I like to call it.
Between my alarm going off at 5:15 to get ready for my job as a teacher, and my husband's job as a college football coach, our plates can become quite full! If you are a coach's wife reading this, you know that your partner's job as a coach means that you hold quite a few additional responsibilities for his job as well!
Shout out to the women out there that do it all- all day every day! Ya’ll are EXTRAORDINARY! Whether you are in the workforce, a working mom, or a stay at home mom, I tip my hat to you! In some way or another we are all some pretty darn hard-working women!
The load as a coach's wife can feel never-ending sometimes, and then add your own workload on top of it...
Sometimes it all feels heavy enough to put your face in a pillow and scream!
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE EVERY BIT OF IT and wouldn’t trade it for the world. However, it is okay to say sometimes it can wear you out.
Many of us work Monday-Friday, sometimes 10+ hours per day, and then come home to handle ticket requests, baking cookies or brownies for our players, hosting the entire position group for a meal, and running the home because you're the only one who is able to contribute towards that during the season.
And then during the season you can forget having a weekend to unwind after the craziness...We hear our co-workers cheering for Friday for a break, while we know that we will be cheering our hearts out at a game that weekend. Games are a BLAST, but I definitely wouldn't consider them relaxing- especially not for the coach's wife!
So much goes on from the moment we wake up to answer phone calls from family and friends about any questions they may have, making sure I get to the tailgate on time to see the team march towards the stadium, and giving my coach a smooch before the game. This is a tradition we have had since he started coaching that I don’t ever plan on missing! I’m sure you have your own traditions for game day that are equally as special for you. After mingling with fans and parents at the tailgate, I love making my way to the game to cheer alongside our fabulous coaches wives!
At the end of game day, even after a win, my body often feels like it went through another work day.
And then there are Sundays...sometimes I can feel really torn between getting up and getting myself ready for church after a long week and exhausting game day, or just choosing to take the day off instead. I will admit that there have been several Sunday's during the season where I have watched church from home or done my own version of church through a devotional. Sometimes I go back and forth with myself regarding guilt over this, but there is another great blog post about that here if that is also something that you struggle with!
From the outside looking in, it’s possible for others to think when the season is over, so is the second job as coaches’ wives. The reality is that our coaches don’t really have an off-season, and neither do we.
Yes, the load does get lighter, but there are still duties we have to perform after coming home from our own jobs when our coaches are not on the road.
When we have our position players over for dinner, there are times I would rather order pizza and wings instead of cooking for 20 D-Lineman. I completely understand the feeling of not wanting to attend every single recruiting dinner or official visit weekend after a long day or week of work; however, we do it to support our coaches as well as build a bond with possible new teammates. On the days that feel extremely long, this is the best outlook to have! Also, I’m sure I’m speaking for all NCAA coaches’ wives when I say, “Thank you for dead periods!”
Between being a teacher and my husband being a coach, my wheels are always spinning. Because of this, as women in the work force or at home we have to make sure we fit in self-care so we can be the best us for our coaches, teammates, children and co-workers. Here are a few ways I sneak in some me-time to help stay sane through the long days:
A devotional in the Bible app has helped me get in more time with God as well as keep me centered when I feel like I may be falling off the wagon a little.
My coach treats me to mani pedis where it’s just me sitting back in a massage chair holding a nice drink in my hand. Thanks boo!
Working out as often I can, I love putting on my boxing gloves and headphones in my ears, taking everything out on the bag.
The ladies on our coaching staff are amazing! Every month we get together for yummy food and drinks to celebrate each other and laugh the night away.
Using the summer vacations and dead periods to get in as much alone time as I can with my coach.
Whatever your me-time looks like between your job and the coach wife life, KEEP DOING IT. As I said before, we have to take care of ourselves so we can be the best to others that need us. When you feel over-worked between your own job duties and coaching events, remember that you were MADE for this and you are doing a phenomenal job!
And when you aren't feeling like you are doing any of those things well, girl you go ahead and pray! Ask God to help exercise the strength He gave you. You are called to a purpose and you are touching more lives than you know, don’t ever forget that.
It has been so fun collaborating on this blog with Coach Wife Life, and I am so appreciative of you reading and sharing it! Hopefully you were able to relate to this and maybe it helped you feel less alone in the struggles of having your own jobs outside or inside the home in addition to your duties as the coach's wife. If you don't already, you can follow me on Instagram @trimiesha.joyner and be sure to follow Christine @CoachWifeLife as well!