When You Don't Love Being a Coach's Wife


There are those who are married to coaches, and then there are "coach wives."

What's the difference? ATTITUDE.

I have met many coaches' wives through this journey of ours and you can really divide coach wives into two groups. Those who only see it as just their husband's JOB, and those who love it and are all about the life we live!

The thing is, it's not just a job. It is SO much more than a job. If you see it as just a job, it could be SO easy to become bitter about the time your husband spends away from home and begin to resent him for it.

When you see it as a job, it becomes more about the hours they work and less about the cause they are working towards. And if you think the cause I am referring to is winning games, you've got it all wrong.

Our husbands are coaches not just for the game they love, but for the players who need mentors, father figures, and discipline in their lives. It's about teaching these kids how to be responsible adults, employees, and parents someday.

If you are reading this and thinking you see yourself in the category of someone who is just married to a coach and aren't fully "bought in" to this lifestyle, but WANT to be, here are a few things you can start doing.

1. Grow to LOVE the game.

Immerse yourself in it. Ask questions. Learn all about it. Find one thing you love about the game, even if it has nothing to do with the actual sport! This could be the drum line in the marching band, the concession stand, or seeing parents proud of their children. Find just one thing that you love about the game and move forward from there.

2. Write down the positives of your husband's career.

When you are having a tough day because you had a flat tire while trying to take your kiddos somewhere, and are frustrated that you may not have your husband to help out with certain things during the season, go back to that list of positives or things you are grateful for because of your husband's career. Examples include: seeing your husband so passionate about what he does (see previous blog for more on that), seeing the kids he coaches grow into responsible and kind men and women, seeing the team work together towards a great cause, having more alone time and full control of the remote, or maybe getting to see different parts of your state or the country because of traveling to games and/or moving.

3. Bond with fellow coach wives.

If there is a particularly busy time of year (for us it is camp season) make plans with the other coach wives from your team during that time. Chances are, the other wives are feeling the same way and you initiating an outing would be something to benefit all of you!

I have been blessed with having friendships with other coach wives on the teams where my husband has coached, but some teams or schools may not have that luxury (maybe your husband is the only coach, or he is the only coach who is married). If that is the case, there are so many other coach wives I have met and bonded with online. Search Facebook for different groups and browse Pinterest for things related to being a coach's wife. Reading blogs like this one will also help you feel less alone in this journey!

4. DECIDE to start having a positive attitude about your husband's career.

I'm a firm believer that we can decide what kind of day we are going to have or what kind of attitude we will exhibit no matter what else is going on. Make that daily decision to make the most with the cards you were dealt, and keep making that decision every single day. Personally, I love this lifestyle of being a coach's wife, but if that's not where you are, fake that positive attitude until it becomes how you really feel about it.

Let these 4 tips be a starting point for you if you are at that place of negativity about your husband's career. And if you still need some help in this area, feel free to reach out! I absolutely love connecting with other coach wives from across the nation and would love to get to know you better and offer that support to you. Here's to a great year and great season for all of us!

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