For the coach's girlfriend
This blog is a little unique to the other ones, in that I have teamed up with a friend I've met (through Coach Wife Life) named Trimiesha Young, who is currently dating a coach long-distance. My hope and prayer is that this will help coach girlfriends feel less alone in this journey and realize that there are others who very much understand the unique struggles you are facing as you are dating a coach.
My coach and I had been dating for nearly a year when we were entering our first full football season together. I remember the difficulties it entailed, and thought, "There needs to be a support group for coach's girlfriends and wives!" The struggles of being in a relationship with a coach was something no one else in my life could understand.
That thought process would one day lead me to creating this blog!
If you are dating a coach, there is a good chance you two will be long distance at some point in your relationship. In every relationship, communication is key, but in a long-distance relationship you won’t survive without it.
Being long distance is hard. But adding the schedule a coach typically works on top of that, and that makes it WAY harder! By the end of the day when it's time to catch up on the phone, they are exhausted from their taxing day. You think their lack of enthusiasm has something to do with you, and you grow frustrated with the time and effort you are putting towards this relationship, wondering if it will be worth it some day.
In a normal long-distance relationship, you usually get to spend the whole weekend with them when you go to visit. When you're dating a coach long-distance, you might be lucky if you get to spend 12 hours with them. Their schedules don't get to change just because you are there to see them.
Phones are a main tool for communication and recruiting. And when the phone rings, no matter what is going on, they are expected to answer. This can become frustrating when it starts to invade those 12 hours you get to see them.
You might get frustrated with having to be the only one who drives or flies to see them, but with their schedule of working 7 days a week, you know that's the only way you will get to see each other and try to make your relationship work.
If they are working their way up the career ladder, maybe you've been the one paying the bill for date night.
And because of all the things listed above, your friends and family think you are putting more effort towards your relationship than you should, and that you should make him work harder in your relationship.
Loneliness can also be a big part of dating a coach, whether you are long-distance or not, because of their busy work schedules. And if you choose the wrong people to vent about this to, it can become even more frustrating and lonely.
One help in combating this is making relationships with those who "get it." Share that burden with other coach wives and girlfriends who will be supportive of your unconventional relationship and shed some normalcy on your un-normal life.
Trimiesha has found this extra helpful in her journey as a coach's girlfriend, saying, "God says we are not meant to go through life alone, and nothing is better than going through life with women who turn into family and really understand the struggles and the ways we can’t help but feel."
Other advice from Trimiesha to other coach wives and girlfriends includes:
Communicate with your coach when you begin to feel low in your journey. Because when you don’t communicate that builds, and when it gets its biggest, the blow-up isn’t pretty.
You may be the one spending a little more money right now, but remember “who” you are doing it for. You are doing it for the person you love and believe in. It's a financial investment into the person you love and believe in.
Facetime when you can, just to see each others face, even if it’s just to say a quick "hi."
When you’re ready to get mad and throw a fit because he isn’t putting forth the effort you want at the time, have empathy for the stressful life he’s trying to build for the both of you.
However, if any guys are reading this, please don’t forget to have empathy for her, because her heart is getting tugged on day in and out.
When loneliness tries to creep in, look to God to fill those voids, and not just your relationship.
When we are weak, He is our strength. When we feel alone, He is our comfort.
When we feel lost on what to do or what the future may hold, He is our advisor.
When we are sad, He is our hope.
When we lose faith in our relationships, we put our faith in our relationship with Him to restore faith in our relationship with our coaches.
You're not alone. There are so many others who have been, or are currently in your shoes, just like myself and Trimiesha. There are also so many Facebook groups and blogs that are targeted towards ladies
just. like. you.
All you have to do is seek them out, and reach out. You might be surprised by the support you will receive!
Trimiesha is a 1st grade teacher in the Dallas metroplex.
She is head over heels for her boyfriend that she has been dating since high school.
They have spent the last 3 years long-distance, ranging from Hawaii to Ohio.
She is currently supporting the Ohio State Buckeyes from the sidelines,
as her coach works hard to make their dreams come true!