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The Five Stages of Grief for Coaches' Wives

As we are nearing the end of July, we all know what's right around the corner...our husbands will be resuming their crazy schedules with football in just a few short weeks. I have found that in all the years we have been together I feel the same rush of emotions each July. While I love football season and everything that comes with it- the games, the tailgates, the excitement- I also find myself dreading it each year.

Football season means something completely different to the wives than it does to the fans. I don't know many women who love the game more than a coach's wife, but the season also means less time with our husbands and resuming that strong, independent title, which can get lonely sometimes. Yes, I am very independent and have hobbies that I enjoy outside of my husband, but I also LOVE every minute we get to spend together, and that becomes really limited during football season (and then recruiting season).

As I have become friends with more and more coaches' wives, I am finding this mix of emotions to be common among all of us- we are feeling pumped for the season, but are also dreading it at the same time. As humorous as it sounds, I find myself going through the five stages of grief!

1. Denial

Nope! August is just not coming this year! We will just have summer forever and continue living the happy, stress-free lives that we have been enjoying for the last 2 months...

2. Anger

Why me? Why us? Why can't football coaches just work normal 40 hour weeks like the rest of society? It's not fair.

3. Bargaining

"I'll be the best wife ever, if only..." "I'll work so hard on keeping everything clean." "I'll make extra money so you won't have to."

4. Depression

I'm so sad. I'm never going to see him and we won't have another date night until February! (Not true, but sometimes we take it to the extreme like that).

5. Acceptance

Football season is coming regardless of how I feel about it. We will have a great season and I will build stronger relationships with these awesome wives on this journey with me. Time to have a winning season!

Some of this may be humorous, but it's real life! I struggle with staying in that sad feeling, knowing that the time we are spending together now is not going to last. But each time I bring it up, my husband always reminds me to just stay in the moment and not ruin it by thinking too far ahead. And I know that once the season starts it's never as bad as I anticipate it to be in my head!

I DO love football season! I DO love the excitement! I"m excited to bring all my new "Tailgate Tuesday" recipes to the games and connect with the new wives on our team! I'm on my way to the "Acceptance" stage, and I hope you are, too!

If you are struggling with some of these feelings- and maybe you are stuck in that Depression phase of the Stages of Grief for Coache's Wives- I would love to connect! Please reach out!

Thank you for being here.



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